A few recent conversations with colleagues sent me down the path of deeper reflection on authenticity. The real, raw kind of authenticity that asks you to show up as yourself—even when you’re unsure how that self will be received.
We were talking about how people present themselves on LinkedIn and in real-world networking events. You know the look: perfectly polished, overly curated, sometimes even a little plastic. It’s a performance. And more of us—especially those of us who have a little salt in our hair—are starting to feel allergic to it.
I think there’s a reason for that. And man have I struggled with that at times – big time.
Authenticity, real authenticity, doesn’t begin with branding. It begins with self-respect which in turn comes from self-reflection.
I learned a lesson on self-respect from a very wise woman – my former wife. I once asked her how we’d managed to find each other, almost soul mates. How could we possibly teach our kids to find that kind of connection? Her answer was profound: “We just need to teach them to respect themselves.” Wow.
She was right.
Because self-respect is the foundation of authenticity. You can’t be real with others if you haven’t gotten real with yourself first. It takes integrity to stand and be who you are. It takes fortitude to resist the pressure to perform. And it takes a kind of surrender to say, “This is me. This is what I do. This is what I stand for.”
That surrender can be (really fucking) scary. Especially in business.
We’re trained to suit up—literally and emotionally—so we appear more successful, more experienced, more together than we might actually feel. But the cost of that armor is steep. It disconnects us from the people who could become our best clients, collaborators, or friends. Because it hides the very thing they’re hoping to find: someone real.
And here’s the kicker—when you’re finally ready to let go of the act and show up as yourself, it doesn’t repel the right people. It draws them in.
When your marketing reflects your real values…
When your networking conversations sound like you, not a script…
When your business exists to serve, not impress…
…something shifts.
You attract the right fit. You lose the need to “sell” yourself. And the people who don’t get it? They were never your people to begin with.
Here’s what I’ve been learning along my path up this mountain:
- Authenticity isn’t a trait you adopt—it’s a practice you build.
- That practice starts with self-respect, not self-promotion.
- People feel the difference between performance and presence.
- The more armor you shed, the more connection you make.
- Vulnerability in business is strength, not weakness.
So here’s your challenge—and it’s not just rhetorical.
Where in your business or life are you still putting on the mask?
What would it take to let it go?
What would it mean to stop trying to impress and start trying to connect?
Yes, it’s risky. You might feel exposed. But the payoff is worth it: deeper trust, better-fit clients, and a business that reflects who you actually are—not just who you think you’re supposed to be.
We need more people in business who lead with truth, not tactics.
Because doing good isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real.
And that’s the kind of collaboration I want to be part of.
— Cingularis, Helping companies that do good, do even good-er